how could i explain
when i looked up into the sky i saw only dust. this was space without possibilities, space defined with no definition. an in-between where mud grew on grass. it was hyper-fear. the buildings denser spaces of an empty space of mud-paved destitution. this is the space of desolation. this is the space inhabited without civilization. humans walking under a sky without humanity. this is a habitat. deserted, hopeless. a space only good for war. controlled and abandoned. without use. like a brick mission in a third world village. like inhabiting an unpaved and deserted lot, where the wrecking ball just fell. and where it soon will fall again.
i had never stepped into it before. i had always drove through, in a bubble with it like a movie on my windshield.
this was not the void, it was devoid of even the void. this was barracks, assembled in a space where space doesn’t matter because it is without possibility, without individuality. it doesn’t matter how the buildings are arranged because the life of the space has been severed. cut off like a culdesac. the space between provides no relief, no difference, because it is the same substance as the buildings. designed by the same designer, controlled by the same controllers. without chance without hope without life. how do you design barracks? it is impossible. they are already designed. there can be no difference between the design and the space and the inhabitants. it is already designed by the placement of its borders, any placement within these borderes is random and without reason and does not matter.
but cabrini does not keep out chance with gates and towers and guards, with minimum lot development prices and resident associations and ordinances, but by starvation. an internal sucking of hope, a devouring of anything of substance or magnitude, which manifests itself only in absence and fear to those at the borders.
this is a hungry space, a bloated stomach.