we suck from the same mother

What is the shape of desire? How does it come to take on a form? The real power problem is to take control of our own desires, to actually give them forms that are good for ourselves – strategically, long-term. That is, how can we change the “what” of desire? Does desire have to be […]

Intimidated

Okay 3rd glass of wine and maybe I can do this. I desire to not be intimidated by the fact that I do not know my Foucoult, Lacan, or Deleuze all that well. Lack– hmmm ooh baby yeah I lack alot and it probably has something to do with a bunch of dead brain cells. […]

desires…hmmm.

To begin with, I am having a hard time differentiating my desires from my anxieties. Especially in the area of work. ‘Desires’ seems like such a generous and substantive term for worries and fantasies about what are, in the end, only questions about career. I’m not even talking about art projects, but rather simple, shallow […]

the placement of that desire

2006/5/23 7:45am, Sacramento at 90/94, W: A large delivery truck coming at me took a left right in front of me, missing my front bumper by inches. My anger was quick. But as I thought back on it, I believe that anger, at least some sorts, also has a basis in desire. I wanted the […]

measuring complicity

I want to be able to make the right decisions for my students. I want to be able to encourage them to learn. Instead I am complicit in a system of measure that tells kids their worth(lessness) and discourages so many of them. Anything to sort and justify and legitimize. I want to be able […]

that sort of anonymous fog

2006/05/22 7:30-8:00am, in my car driving South along Sacramento Ave. to work, W: I want to turn on the radio, but I resist as that fills my brain (prop-agenda). Instead I am trying to focus on the present, and on my desires. I want to focus on the present. I want the coffee to make […]

ritual

2006/5/21 9:30-11:00am, zen buddhist temple, W: Chanting, meditating, singing, praying, standing-sitting-moving in coordinate fashion. It is all a way to coordinate desires, to enhance a group desire. Ritual. Not the blank and blind following of a meaningless tradition, but the inhabitation of a circular group event of which I am a part. I become part […]