cybersex.  a step towards the elimination of difference.  a step towards the elimination of reproduction.  a step towards self-objectification, seeing one’s self.  cybersex is not merely narcissism.  this is solipsism.  cybersex is a nullification of difference.  cybersex is the manifestation of man’s search for utopia.  cybersex is beyond masturbation.

“Eroticism in these terms is precisely the celebration of proximity and presence-for-the-other, of the sense of touch and skin to skin contact, and the complexity of relatedness which arises out of this proximity. Against this celebration of presence, virtual erotics can be readily represented as a sterile practice of disembodiment and absence, growing perhaps out of the terror of overwhelming presence. One commentator, for example, likens virtual sexuality to commercial phone sex, in that:
‘the [space] of phoneland – a soundscape of bodiless voices – must be invested with all the sexuality we cannot share with other bodies, or with “real-time” persons with real personalities and desires. The deep purpose of phone sex is probably not really the client’s masturbation or his credit card number, but the actual ectoplasmic meeting of two ghosts in the “other” world of sheer nothingness, a poor parodic rendering of the phone company’s slogan, “Reach out and touch someone”, which is so sadly, so finally, what we cannot do in cyberspace (Wilson 1996: 224).'” (catherine waldby, circuits of desire)


cybersex allows one to have sex with their desires.  cybersex allows one to have sex with their objectification.  cybersex allows one to have sex with their self.

“In Japan, it’s leading to software that allows users to create their own virtual girlfriend. Over one million computer users have purchased one such program. Stories about the software claim that “Japanese women may be under threat from the booming market in computer girlfriends.” When accused of sexual deviance because they have turned away from real women, Japanese men have countered that they are using virtually simulated women in an attempt to feel what it is like to be loved by a woman. It is not the simulation they desire, it is a real girlfriend and the accompanying feelings of love.”

it is not the simulation they desire, it is a real girlfriend and the accompanying feelings of love…. which exactly match their desire, which are the physical embodiment of their design.  no longer a ‘falling’ in love, but a fulfillment of love, made to order.  this gratification is the direct resultant of disembodiment, of the elimination of difference, of reality (the failure of design), of the Other.

“‘Instead of depicting us as losing our consciousness and experiencing bodily pleasures, however, cyborg imagery in pop culture often invites us to experience sexuality by losing our bodies and becoming pure consciousness (Springer 1996: 62).’
….Net sex then is not a practice which virtualizes the proper body, as cybercultural discourses tend to assume, but rather both assumes the proper body and extends and alters its horizon of agency and presence. It enables the projection of new kinds of erotic efficacy through the employment of cyberspace as a theatre for intersubjective acts which are simultaneously carnal and textual.” (catherine waldby, circuits of desire)

we extend the limits of our self.  we extend the limits of our self beyond our body.  the self, without difference, becomes an entity without definition or borders.  there is no longer a self or others in the traditional sense.  only the massive implosive tower of babel.  only one large network of connected information, of continuous inclusion.  the only limit of a self comprised of information, of language, is that which is not language, that which can not be assimilated.
does our desire include a desire for something which does not gratify our desires: something which preserves difference from our self, the preservation of an other?  does the inclusion of something outside of desire not assimilate that something into desire making it merely foreplay, a non-immediate, delayed, gratification which serves to make the final gratification more pleasing.  a preservation which allows us to move on without feeling like we lost anything.  a preservation is always an attempt to include something by excluding it.  a preservation is the manifestation of guilt and loss as a commodity.  and this commodity represents (sells) itself as a simulated reality, a simulated challenge, a simulated place outside of our design, a simulated difference, a simulated other, a simulated identity, a simulated self.